SOLSC: Stop and Listen

March 17, 2012

I made myself stop and listen. Yes, I hear the birds tweeting outside, but it was the tired amble of my youngest as he came into the room that made me listen.

You see, my youngest is not the verbalizer that his older two siblings are. He’s quiet, reflective, and in general does not expound on his thoughts. He listens. He watches. He participates in conversation when he feels his thoughts are important. It’s not that we don’t value our youngest. He just admires his older brother and would rather listen to his stories than share his own.

I was in the middle of posting a SOLC comment when my youngest came in. I forced myself to look up, smile, and stop typing. It was just a second, but that acknowledgement nudged a conversation, a conversation I am so glad we shared!

“What’s up, Tim?” I asked when he walked in to the kitchen. He shrugged his shoulders. I wanted more than that, so I persisted. “Tired?” I prompted. He nodded. Okay, another try. “Did you enjoy last night? What was your favorite activity last night?” At this, Tim sat on the stairs and smiled, “Basketball, but do we have anything to eat?” I smiled. Yes, food, but his answer was too short for my liking. His two siblings were gone and my husband was at work; it was just the two of us.

“Okay. I want to finish this SOLC comment and then we can go to Subway and I can hear all about last night?,” I proposed, hoping to intrigue him into more conversation. I really wanted to know what he did at the all night youth event. Tim nodded and I finished my thought.

I could have made the sandwiches, but I wanted to seize the moment. I know that Tim knows that I get distracted by doing things, and then I know that he will just forget and move on and I would miss this interaction.

Eating Subway sandwiches, Tim shared about his night, the band, the laser tag, what he liked and who he hung out with. He had time with his older brother and was engaged with friends. He had a great time (yeah!).

And because I stopped and listened,

I had the best listening lunch date with my youngest!