SOLC: Sentence Structure + Playing with Words = Practice

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(As I was drafting in my notebook, I  noticed the phrases crossed out as I was playing with words. I thought it might be fun to see a glimpse of my jumbled notebook entry. I suggest reading the parts that are not slashed through to hear my revised draft. And I chuckle as I notice the number of ‘I’s in the introduction. Granted, it is me talking to you and ‘I’ is necessary at times.)

I want to My goal is to try to change the beginning of my sentences. I begin, I tend to My tendency is to begin with ‘I’ or ‘it’. I’m inclined to  It’s difficult  Transposing ideas or introductions with a clause can be challenging at times. I want Playing with words to communicate my thoughts fluently takes practice and daily writing to mature. Somewhere in my memory, I recall a teacher mentioned switching the ‘I’ focus to an audience-view as a way to invite the reader into your line of thinking. It’s been a while. Although time has passed, my teacher’s noticing continues to help me as a writer.  I know it will   This exercise of changing phrases helps me understand my students who struggle with revising their redundant sentences. It’s not This transformation is a slow process and not easy. More revision is necessary, but just noticing how the beginnings of my sentences can start a different way and playing with the words, I’m growing as a writer.

Reading slices helps me notice others’ ways with words too, and I plan   it’s my endeavor  my intentions are to practice different sentence starters through my daily writing during the Slice of Life Challenge. This draft was just a taste of the hiccups in my writing.

Whew!

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14 Responses to SOLC: Sentence Structure + Playing with Words = Practice

  1. Tam says:

    Love how you did this. It’s a good reminder that there are things we can always work on to be better writers. I will look at my writing more closely as a result. Great revisions.

  2. Mandy Chock says:

    Awesome slice! I love to see peopleʻs writing process. The elements that have been crossed out are the most valuable, in my opinion. It opens yourself up to the reader and allows them to take a glimpse into the writerʻs brain!

    My favorite line: “a taste of hiccups in my writing.”

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  3. I love this reflection – including the cross outs! Writing is the easy part — it’s the editing and crafting and the just perfect words to use that make it difficult. But I love what you wrote today!

  4. jodimahoney says:

    This is fabulous! I love the honesty of the post and the way that it truly reflects the way we think as we write/edit/revise all at once!

  5. elsie says:

    It does change the sound of the writing when we pay attention to how sentences begin. Another thing I try to control is the “be” verb. Happy revisions!

  6. Wow MH! Who knew that one change could make such a difference in the tone of your writing. Pretty cool stuff–and I’m glad you left in the strikethroughs for us to be see it.

  7. This is the writer’s craft in full view. Most of my revision is done on the spot since my composing is done almost exclusively on the ipad. Makes me a little lonely for the crossing out and tracks of thinking you’ve captured.

  8. Chris H. says:

    This is so honest, rings so true. It has taken me longer than I care to admit to begin writing. Finally, my goal has been realized through the motivation of bring able to speak to students, writer-to-writer. Your process and hiccups are appreciated. You are speaking to me, writer-to-writer.

  9. Jaana says:

    Wonderful! You are showing how you are revising! I need to do this with my students. Perhaps Microsoft Word and how it tracks changes…I better write down this idea before I forget…..

  10. blkdrama says:

    Very, very clever. I love that strategy.
    Bonnie

  11. karidyer says:

    I love this glimpse into your notebook. Crafting and revising are my favorite parts to the writing process. It was fun to see how you shaped and developed your post! Thanks for letting us “into your head” as a writer!

  12. When I got this in my inbox today, I wanted to be sure to tell you how much I like it. We all have our writing processes and getting a glimpse of yours was fun. Thanks!

  13. C. Crouch says:

    Thank you Thank you for being so open to let us have a glimpse into your writer’s eyes. It is like being backstage. This is what my students need to see!!! Viewing your revisions will no doubt help me be more aware too. Thanks for the lesson!

  14. Revision at its best! I can truly SEE your writing differently when I read it each way. The writerly voice in your head is hard at work!

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